PDA

View Full Version : Happy fathers Day to all dear dads and deer dads


PaintedMeadowsBJs
06-19-2009, 11:06 PM
Happy fathers Day to all dear dads and deer dads.
I found this funny and thought I would share.
WHY GOD MADE MOMS(parts about dads in blue)

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:


Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.


What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?


Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.


Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.


If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.:)
HAPPY FATHERS DAY

ddwhitetails
06-20-2009, 05:04 AM
Thanks For the Happy Fathers Day....but that seemed like more of a tribute to moms more so than Dads:eek::D

NK Whitetails
06-20-2009, 07:28 AM
Happy Fathers Day to all you Dad's out there!!



When God Created Fathers



When the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame, and a female angel nearby said, "What kind of Father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put Fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot a marble without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."
And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child-size, who would children have to look up to?

And when God made a Father's hands, they were large and sinewy.

And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do you know what you are doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."

And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day..yet small enough to cup a child's face in his hands."

And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.

And the angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"

And God smiled and said, "A Mother needs a lap. A Father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crunching at least three of the guests?"

And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm, authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant.

Finally, almost as an after-thought, he added ~ tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as a Mother?"

The angel shuteth up..

PaintedMeadowsBJs
06-20-2009, 08:18 AM
Sorry Dennis
But I was being sincere...because I have seen some great dads and fathers on here..
I am a single mom whose kids dad doesn't see or pay for them...
I have been mom and dad since my kids were a young Two and four....
That's all I had in my emails that people have sent me and thought that I would share cause the part about the dads was funny...
I will share a little story...one Christmas I decide I have a boy what would a dad get him for Christmas...I spent $500. and got this great sport kit for my kid...It snowed And I mean snowed...The kids come down.... open their gifts...The whole time I am wandering what can we use in this deep of snow...Basketball...sort of...football...sort of...scoccer...sure sounds great after I shoveled I took the net out told him block the net...just grab the ball don't let I go in...I kick the ball...It bounces off his face...Which is now swollen and red with an impression of a soccer ball...He looks at me crying and says...Mom do we have to play this game...It isn't very much fun.

Happy Fathers Day to all you Dads that saved their kids... from moms teaching life...
You should have heard the talk about standing when you pee...

PaintedMeadowsBJs
06-20-2009, 09:47 AM
I can't be with my father because he passed, but he was a true father and I know what fathers day means...But just have not been able to celebrate it in the normal way...now I listen to James Taylor and read Irish poems and prayers...because that is a small part of what my father was.

Mitch P
06-20-2009, 10:22 AM
BJ just remind me not to have you play soccer with us dads. Your too rough. :D

Fatherhood was GREAT. I have my two Grandaughters here this weekend and I must say that being a Grandpa is even better. You have the best of both worlds. The best thing is when they get on your nerves and you have spoiled them to the max just send them home. :D

For you young Dads out there, you can`t spend enough time with your dad`s. They`ll be gone before you know it. :( They were our mentors and our backbone. Make em proud of what they helped to create.

ddwhitetails
06-20-2009, 10:46 AM
BJ I know you were being sincere I was just having a little fun.......got to be careful doing that on these forums cuz if you can't hear how its being said it can be taken out of context very easily........thanks for the kind things you say about fathers day Billie Joe.........As for all the fathers out there today........do hug your DAD if you still have him and be grateful fo the things he has done......and those that no longer have your fathers use some time to think back and remember the great times you shared.......If you had a dead beat father I feel for you and you are in my prayers......use that terrible experience to make you that much better of a father for your own children.......God Bless all you fathers out there this weekend!!!

Whitetail Sanctuary
06-20-2009, 04:18 PM
Happy fathers day !!!!!!!!! These are all great post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

160goldstar
06-21-2009, 06:05 AM
Happy Fathers Day!!!!

Fathers are Wonderful People

Fathers are wonderful people
Too little understood
And we do not sing their praises
As often as we should ...

For,somehow,Father seems to be
The man who pays the bills,
While Mother binds up little hurts
And nurses all our ills ...

And Father struggles daily
To live up to "HIS IMAGE"
As protector and provider
And "hero or the scrimmage" ...

And perhaps that is the reason
We sometimes get the notion,
The Fathers are not subject
To the thing we call emotion,

But if you look inside Dad's heart,
Where no one else can see
You'll find he's sentimental
And as "soft" as he can be ...

But he's so busy every day
In the grueling race of life,
He leaves the sentimental stuff
To his partner and his wife ...

But Fathers are just WONDERFUL
In a million different ways,
And they merit loving compliments
And accolade of praise,

For the only reasom Dad aspires
To fortune and success
Is to make the family proud of him
And to bring them happiness ...

And like OUR HEAVENLY FATHER
He's a guardian and a guide,
Someone that we can count on
To be ALWAYS ON OUR SIDE.

Helen Steiner Rice

Scrapelineranch
06-21-2009, 06:57 AM
Did you know Father's Day as we know it didn't begin officially until 1966! President Nixon signed it in. Thank you dear/deer friends for your sincere posts. I wish to take this time to relect on my dad, who died at age 54 in 1980 from cancer. I also think about my son-in-law in Iraq. I know he's thinking about his two sons today. God Bless father's. Never has society needed the man to step up to the plate and be the father God expects him to be. The bible says the father is the priest of his house. This means the father represents his family to God, and represents God to his family. Ol' Scrape.